It’s been a little over a year since I have stepped foot in the land of English, fast food, and washing machines and boy has it changed. Yes Irvine and Tustin look just the way I left it, but in other ways it has changed completely. I took for granted random things like quick accessibility to food, free and fast wifi, multiple lane roads, customer service, and stop lights. Yes, I wrote stop lights.

When I first arrived in the US, at a layover at JFK airport in New York, my first goal was to get my hand on some oily, grubby fast food. I didn’t care about the high cholesterol that runs in my family and I probably inevitably have, I just wanted the food I had been craving for the last year of my life. However, I had to pass through customs and go through security again. Seems easy enough, right? Oh no, not for a Nielsen. “so ma’am, do you have any animal products to declare?….well not edible, but I do have a cow head in my luggage…excuse me, did you just say cow head?….yes, you know, a skull, but its been cleaned…so you have a cow’s skull in your luggage, that’s a new one. Ummmmmmm go ahead.”

At security, I forgot I had a bottled water in my backpack. Then I touched the bag to try and help open it and was told if I touched it again I would be asked to step to the side. I apologized and instantly answered in Malagasy, got an extremely strange look from the security agent, and then was informed they were going to rescan all of my luggage again. In the process, a Kindle inside a mailing box raised questions and was requested for a security check.

I’m sorry United States, I’ve gotten weird.

My first meal in the US you may ask….Burger King fries and Dr. Pepper. It took me a good 24 hours to get readjusted to American food and the flavors. Definitely a far change from rice and a little bit of meat which is what I eat day in and day out in Madagascar. And I hate to admit this, but Burger King, you let me down. Your fries are not what I remembered them to be. But Taco Bell, you saved the day, like you always do with your scrumdiliumptous Crunch Wrap Supreme and bean burrito (no surprise there).

It took 37 hours to travel from Antananarivo, Madagascar to Los Angeles, California. In the process I watched six movies, four tv shows, and marveled over small things like magazines, multiple electrical outlets, and bread that wouldn’t knock someone out if you hit them over the head with it. Why is there so many people speaking English??? What do you mean you don’t understand me when I say “azafady“…any normal person would know that means excuse me. Oh wait, I’m in the States, focus Christina, focus.

So here I am, at 6a writing this blog, my body still hasn’t and probably won’t adjust to the drastic time change, trying to decide what to eat for breakfast. The options! My entire vacation is in front of me, with seeing friends, sharing funny stories, and gaining the 20 pounds I expect from all the fast food consumption.

…”so this one time I stuck my dog in the attic to see if there was a serial killer living in there because of a Methloquine hallucination……………..ooooooooo In’n’Out!!”